The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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