so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
