Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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(805): View more from California

he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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(740): View more from Ohio

it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(251): View more from Alabama

I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.

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(415): View more from California

there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.

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(438): View more from Quebec

I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis

(1-438): View more from Quebec

He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.

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