So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...