Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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  (330): so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv. http://tfl.nu/d9vr
  Replies (61) Good night (2173) Bad night (593)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (556) Bad night (4719)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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  (937): Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date http://tfl.nu/jct3
  Replies (44) Good night (6244) Bad night (1157)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.

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  (214): Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/dqjd
  Replies (36) Good night (6156) Bad night (523)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

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  (330): i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels http://tfl.nu/84kp
  Replies (16) Good night (1217) Bad night (5360)
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  (510): View more from California

  I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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  (510): I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting http://tfl.nu/unrs
  Replies (14) Good night (5652) Bad night (1255)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (11067) Bad night (1232)
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  (310): View more from California

  Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

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  (310): Obama is so hot when he ends wars. http://tfl.nu/7ljv
  Replies (187) Good night (9310) Bad night (7269)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?

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  (816): There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be? http://tfl.nu/l5gd
  Replies (9) Good night (1874) Bad night (814)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time

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  (403): I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time http://tfl.nu/r2ul
  Replies (12) Good night (2423) Bad night (585)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

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  (315): mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes' http://tfl.nu/oh7r
  Replies (23) Good night (786) Bad night (3561)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1397) Bad night (670)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.

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  (419): I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama. http://tfl.nu/jhww
  Replies (4) Good night (1112) Bad night (969)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

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  (770): He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican. http://tfl.nu/lruh
  Replies (21) Good night (1138) Bad night (512)
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  (323): View more from California

  Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"

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  (323): Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?" http://tfl.nu/dewe
  Replies (4) Good night (1112) Bad night (418)

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