Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar

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  (516): I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar http://tfl.nu/ulgt
  Replies (27) Good night (2914) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.

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  (718): don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time. http://tfl.nu/80vr
  Replies (5) Good night (2097) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

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  (204): between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/u2b0
  Replies (28) Good night (1028) Bad night (4679)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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  (859): Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here http://tfl.nu/kvme
  Replies (13) Good night (2010) Bad night (4825)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

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  (214): New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle. http://tfl.nu/kelj
  Replies (33) Good night (4903) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.

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  (856): it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar. http://tfl.nu/5cy5
  Replies (6) Good night (4215) Bad night (1782)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

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  (440): Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore http://tfl.nu/9n7j
  Replies (5) Good night (2325) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.

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  (860): Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know. http://tfl.nu/9803
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there

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  (215): i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there http://tfl.nu/r3g3
  Replies (9) Good night (809) Bad night (2513)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.

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  (801): Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard. http://tfl.nu/rl99
  Replies (9) Good night (2449) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.

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  (616): I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine. http://tfl.nu/siu7
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.

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  (865): I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it. http://tfl.nu/3j3f
  Replies (4) Good night (564) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"

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  (812): whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight" http://tfl.nu/xl0q
  Replies (1) Good night (1123) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."

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  (480): We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor." http://tfl.nu/95x9
  Replies (4) Good night (3302) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.

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  (716): I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming. http://tfl.nu/r1ch
  Replies (6) Good night (1560) Bad night (477)

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