i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.