Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.

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  (407): Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007. http://tfl.nu/n4mi
  Replies (9) Good night (3167) Bad night (775)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...

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  (610): just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating... http://tfl.nu/t9b4
  Replies (47) Good night (1580) Bad night (5503)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm down.

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  (519): We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents (1-519): I'm down. http://tfl.nu/zb30
  Replies (23) Good night (3165) Bad night (1007)
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  (707): View more from California

  the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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  (707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf
  Replies (43) Good night (5131) Bad night (1829)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7405) Bad night (1116)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5696) Bad night (1085)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1206) Bad night (4548)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

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  (206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4
  Replies (1) Good night (2221) Bad night (789)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.

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  (519): He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba. http://tfl.nu/mbtr
  Replies (7) Good night (2877) Bad night (789)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat

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  (757): You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat http://tfl.nu/abhh
  Replies (3) Good night (1044) Bad night (1628)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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  (573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie
  Replies (7) Good night (737) Bad night (1242)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

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  (931): his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood http://tfl.nu/n403
  Replies (20) Good night (3994) Bad night (1125)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow

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  (612): SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow http://tfl.nu/34f4
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (378)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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  (713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq
  Replies (4) Good night (1378) Bad night (478)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok

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  (989): Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok http://tfl.nu/9bve
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (195)

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