Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

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(816): Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm. http://tfl.nu/bk02

Replies (6) Good night (2314) Bad night (1141)
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(636): View more from Missouri

just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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(636): just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am. http://tfl.nu/ubv2

Replies (38) Good night (4800) Bad night (692)
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(912): View more from Georgia

i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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(912): i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar http://tfl.nu/twn7

Replies (23) Good night (2668) Bad night (1871)
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(356): View more from

her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..

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(356): her boobs were like sundried tomatoes.. http://tfl.nu/wyr4

Replies (31) Good night (658) Bad night (8848)
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(360): View more from Washington

not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.

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(360): not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible. http://tfl.nu/ukgo

Replies (20) Good night (4581) Bad night (886)
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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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(847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n

Replies (47) Good night (7004) Bad night (1069)
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(315): View more from New York

They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

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(315): They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it. http://tfl.nu/5i1a

Replies (12) Good night (8470) Bad night (1291)
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(207): View more from Maine

He violated my cat. I was not impressed.

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(207): He violated my cat. I was not impressed. http://tfl.nu/2ip6

Replies (22) Good night (1065) Bad night (5926)
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(716): View more from New York

So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.

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(716): So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat. http://tfl.nu/aisk

Replies (5) Good night (3217) Bad night (1028)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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(+44): We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies. http://tfl.nu/dl0c

Replies (5) Good night (1402) Bad night (1022)
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(765): View more from Indiana

He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.

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(765): He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified. http://tfl.nu/qdiz

Replies (10) Good night (1215) Bad night (661)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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(617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d

Replies (2) Good night (893) Bad night (423)
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(785): View more from Kansas

His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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(785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm

Replies (4) Good night (1091) Bad night (429)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong

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(306): but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong http://tfl.nu/idmw

Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (371)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...

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(920): So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works... http://tfl.nu/tg33

Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (414)

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