Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.