Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.