Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i'm signing you up for texting rehab

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(305): View more from Florida

Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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(906): View more from Michigan

rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(910): View more from North Carolina

I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick

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(760): View more from California

new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm like the big dick whisperer.

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