I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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