Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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