Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
