Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize