Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
