He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
