Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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