Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it glows. i had to have it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
