Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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