you have to choose: penises or morals?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
