Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
