guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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