Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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