I'm going to jail i love you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
