She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
