We're facebook friends in real life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
