just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
