my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How external is "for external use only"?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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