Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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