don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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