My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
