I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
