new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
