his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
