woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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