exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
