WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
