thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
