Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize