i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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