Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
