i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
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we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
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Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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