At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
