Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
