Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
