I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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