i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
