I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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