We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.