I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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