that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?