could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked