yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize