FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
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Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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