Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
