just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
