how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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