If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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