I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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