Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it