yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just blew my weed a kiss
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
