Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
